Unlocking Subconscious Barriers for a Healthier Mind w/ Gayle Weill

Unlock the mysteries of your mind with Gayle Weill, a licensed social worker who invites us into the transformative realm of hypnosis and its profound impact on mental wellness. As a seasoned expert in anxiety, relationships, parenting, and adoption, Gayle's unique therapeutic approach goes beyond traditional methods. In our conversation, she decodes the secrets of effective communication within couples and individual dynamics, emphasizing the need for self-awareness in fostering stronger connections and personal growth. Join us as we shed light on how hypnosis, often misunderstood and misrepresented, is a key to unlocking our subconscious barriers and enhancing our conscious lives.

This episode is a journey through the often-invisible interplay of our subconscious desires and the conscious decisions we make every day. Discover how subtle cues from the world around us, including the ubiquitous advertising we often ignore, have a tangible impact on our behaviors and choices. For those navigating ADHD, Gayle provides insight into task-shifting strategies that prove our mind's incredible capacity to tackle problems even while our focus lies elsewhere. We explore the potent combination of collaborative strategy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and hypnosis to effectively address the struggles where logic and emotional responses collide. Prepare to be inspired by Gayle's wisdom on fostering change from within, using tools that tap into the deepest parts of our psyche.

https://gayleweilllcsw.com/
https://www.instagram.com/gayleweilltherapy/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/gayledaskal 

This program is brought to you by:
Kindred Art Therapy
Visit https://www.arttherapync.com/ to schedule a free consultation.
- and -
Alynee Davis, PLLC
Visit https://alynnedavis.com/ to connect.
Alynne is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Coach.

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Transcript

Aubrey: 1:01

Welcome to Kindred Conversations, the show where we shine a light on local mental health professionals, who are the unsung heroes of our community. Join us as we delve into their journeys, strategies and the art of healing minds. Together, we'll break down stigmas and celebrate resilience. Today I am welcoming our guest, gail Weil, who is a licensed social worker and she works both in North North wait, new York, connecticut and Florida Excuse me, gail, that's okay and she specializes in treating anxiety, relationships, parenting and adoption. Gail, I was super excited to hear about your work with hypnosis as well, so I can't wait to get into all of those details with you today. Welcome.

Gayle: 1:50

Thank you so. So much, aubrey. I really appreciate the warm welcome and I'm so excited to be here and to be able to talk with you today.

Aubrey: 1:59

Yeah, that's awesome, so okay, so I'm in North Carolina. So I got confused. I was like wait, she's not in North Carolina, no worries, no worries. So where are you?

Gayle: 2:09

primarily based out of? Yeah, so I'm licensed in New York, Florida and Connecticut and I see clients in all three of those things. Where are you? So I'm actually physically in Maryland.

Aubrey: 2:22

Oh, okay, yes, All right. So why? Why those three states then?

Gayle: 2:27

Yeah, so I actually started my career working in New York. So I initially became licensed in New York and I'm from Connecticut, so I eventually moved back to Connecticut and was working there. And then Florida is because we are thinking, my husband and I, of maybe someday moving to Florida. So I figured, you know, let's you know, be licensed in all three states.

Aubrey: 2:51

Yeah, that's awesome. So how did you get into therapy in general?

Gayle: 2:55

Yeah, I have always been just fascinated by relationships. I mean, that's that's what it's all about, you know, like our dynamics with other people, and what's always been amazing to me is, as corny as this might sound, what we say and how we say it could, could change, could change a whole relationship dynamic. It can change a whole conversation, and I'm fascinated by the ability to just. You know, of course, nothing is black and white. We can't always know the right thing to say, and sometimes things aren't necessarily right or wrong. But I'm really interested by the fact that just how we say something, how we change how we say something can make all the difference. And that's why right now I'm, you know, I'm specializing in in working with relationships and trying to improve communication.

Aubrey: 3:48

Okay, so are you. Are you treating couples a lot of times?

Gayle: 3:53

So I really like to work individually, so a lot of times I'm working with the individual and the couple.

Aubrey: 3:59

Okay, that's awesome. So, all right, I have to know about the hypnosis piece, because I'm a little bit fascinated and have not gone down that rabbit hole yet, but just want to know about your experience with it.

Gayle: 4:12

Yeah, I love hypnosis. You know I do a lot of different things. I call it my toolbox. So if somebody wants to do hypnosis with me, I'm certainly open to exploring that. I find that hypnosis can really work best with a person. That is very much you know with the CBT. They're very much aware and insightful. But the subconscious piece you know comes into play and hypnosis can help with that if that makes sense. So basically, somebody might be very aware of what's going on, why they are responding in a certain way, but they can't change it for whatever reason. It's rooted in their subconscious. So hypnosis, working with a person, one-on-one, figuring out what the barriers are, what their struggles are hypnosis can help with that.

Aubrey: 5:07

Okay, so with hypnosis, is that like an exploration of their past?

Gayle: 5:13

It really depends. So if we're working on anxiety, for example, what I'd want to do with the person is I'd want to explore, you know, what is exactly going on with their anxiety, what's the root cause of it, and that takes maybe like a session or two or more of you know, talk, therapy and figuring out you know what exactly is going on, and then we try to have a conversation about what they'd hope to. You know, if they could tell their subconscious minds, you know something different, a different message, then that's what we'd want to target in the hypnosis session. And I think what people don't realize is that we're hypnotized constantly, on a daily basis. It's nothing scary like you might see in the movies or comedy. Hypnosis shows like nobody's gonna. You know, quack, like a duck, unless they want to. You know it's very normal and that's what I try to do for people. I really I try to normalize it and have a conversation about it.

Aubrey: 6:13

What do you mean when you say like we're hypnotized, like all the time? What do you mean by that?

Gayle: 6:19

Yeah, so when I was growing up, there were a lot of serial commercials, for example. So then you know you're hearing these jingles you may not consciously be paying attention to them, but then all of a sudden you find yourself at the supermarket and you want to buy Cheerios and you don't even realize why that is. It's because, like, there are various stages of hypnosis and the very basic level of hypnosis is just daydreaming and things going on in the background that you're not consciously listening to.

Aubrey: 6:48

Hmm.

Gayle: 6:49

Yeah, all that goes into our subconscious.

Aubrey: 6:53

So you're saying that the jingle gets paired up with this like desire to has the cereal, and then that just gets recalled when we notice the cereal in the aisle?

Gayle: 7:06

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. We don't even realize that we're paying attention to it because we're not consciously. But our hearing is not turned off, we're still listening to it.

Aubrey: 7:17

So the way it kind of works is like the, the, the pleasant little jingle and it has like that, you know nice, like rewarding effect of like oh, this is a good thing. So that helps to inform that desire. Is that how that works?

Gayle: 7:34

Yeah, exactly so that when you find yourself in the supermarket, for example, you're you know you're looking at these cereals and you know you're thinking, mmm, that looks pretty good. And you're like wait, I didn't want to come here for cereal, I wanted to come here for, you know, x or whatever.

Aubrey: 7:51

It's a it's an important topic of conversation with, like our subconscious, because I know that a lot of Therapy has moved away from Addressing the subconscious but there's so much power in our subconscious.

Aubrey: 8:06

So, like you know, my my client today was talking about this is a client with ADHD. He says like that this is not necessarily a strength, however, it does sound somewhat adaptive to me. Where you know he's working on a project consciously, he realizes that if he's starting to get to the point where he's not getting anywhere with that project and starting to get him frustrated, yada, yada, then he'll switch tasks to something else and eventually the that other project that he was working on that was frustrated, that he will eventually have like an aha moment on of it, like you know, just randomly on the side, and then he'll come back to it and you know we talk about how powerful the subconscious is, that it's actually kind of solving those problems for us in the background and if we kind of walk away from it then Then it can help to to inform what the answer to it is later on.

Gayle: 9:02

Yeah, I love that so much because it also takes the pressure off and that makes it so that he can think maybe a little bit more clearly when he comes back to the project.

Aubrey: 9:10

Yeah. Yeah so, you know, trying to both normalize for him, you know the yes, that is normal, but also the challenge that it presents is okay, well, this is not necessarily the most helpful process for you. So how do we go ahead and shift that process? But anyway, that's a whole different topic then our, Our, our current hypnosis topic, but that's sort of where that goes.

Gayle: 9:35

It's very relevant, I think, because the subconscious is really what it's all about.

Aubrey: 9:39

Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, for sure. So you said that you use Hypnosis some of the times. What other modalities, what's your favorite really?

Gayle: 9:51

Yeah, that is so hard to answer, aubrey, oh my goodness.

Gayle: 9:55

Um, yeah, you know, I think that what I really love is working with somebody who's very insightful and motivated and Just talking with them and strategizing with them and sometimes providing with them Together, just collaboratively, brainstorming with them. You know how they can think things differently. So I guess CBT and not like CBT, where you know, I'm trying to bring Something to somebody's awareness I think what I really like is when somebody's already aware of their struggles, and I Love that, because so many times a client will tell me that you know they, they've previously been in therapy before and they really, you know, they enjoyed it, but they felt like they were, you know, just venting the whole time and they were getting more of like a smile and nod Type of approach which is, you know, valid in itself. You know, because you do need to talk, you do need to be able to, you know, explore whatever it is you're feeling. But, um, that piece about collaborating with somebody who's already, you know, having that outlet to, then that's what I really appreciate.

Gayle: 11:05

I think I went on on a tangent there. Sorry about that.

Aubrey: 11:08

No, no, no, I think they're all welcome tangents. You're welcome and yeah, I mean so, you're saying and I really enjoy that too like the helping clients gain a new perspective Through your own lens, kind of being able to bounce back to them. You know some of your ideas about what may be going on for them.

Gayle: 11:34

Yeah, exactly, sometimes, you know, we can incorporate hypnosis with that, because we might reach a place in our conversation when they're having a block, you know, and that's where that subconscious piece comes in. It can be really be helpful.

Aubrey: 11:48

Mmm. So what might you do in that circumstance? Like you would say, okay, I think this is a good idea to introduce hypnosis at this point, or do they come in like asking about it from the get-go? I'm sure that varies.

Gayle: 12:02

I'm excited to say it depends. Sometimes I have folks coming in from the get-go asking about it. A lot of times I don't, you know. We explore, you know, different options for working together and what might be the best approach. So, just as an example, if somebody is telling me that you know they're very aware that you know they're very insightful, they're very aware that their initial instinct is to.

Gayle: 12:32

You know, I'm trying to think of a good example here. So maybe they grew up, you know, really like they watch their parents being rather critical of other people and holding grudges. So their initial instinct when somebody does something that they don't like is to be angry and label this person as Not nice and hold that grudge. That's their initial instinct, even though their logic is telling them that. Well, what our logic would tell us? You know people make mistakes. This is not, you know, a good person or a bad person. There's gray areas. Logic can tell a person that, but Sometimes the subconscious it sticks. You know how we're, we're brought up. So that's what I might, you know, think about hypnosis, you know, to try to Change that subconscious belief.

Aubrey: 13:26

So, in changing the subconscious belief, when you're going, when you're going into that state of hypnosis, are you going to the state of hypnosis and saying to that person Okay, now change that belief. I wish it were that simple.

Gayle: 13:41

Our subconscious minds are creatures of habit, which means it's only it were that simple. You know, if a person has been thinking a certain way their whole lives, then it takes a little bit more than just telling them to change their beliefs. That's where the conversation comes in, before the hypnosis session, to try to collaborate on what would be helpful so that they're not just rejecting any ideas, that they're not just thinking about Rejecting any ideas that I provide for them in the hypnosis session. So, practically speaking, what that looks like is a conversation with me and the other person Talking about what they would like to see for themselves, like if they were watching a movie, for example, what they need to be seeing in that movie. So do they need to be able to see?

Gayle: 14:28

You know, maybe, I don't know, maybe somebody rear-ended into them and you know the person, you know the initial response is for the person to, you know, be really angry and To maybe yell at the other person who did that and just like, really, really strongly dislike this other person. Rather, you know, I would take them in the movie to see a different picture. I would shift that focus and I would paint the picture of the person rear-ending them and instead they're completely calm about it. They're able to acknowledge that accidents happen, that this person is actually very apologetic Maybe in the fit of rage they weren't able to hear that person's apology and they're able to see themselves reacting differently and coming through the situation with less anxiety. So I hope that that gives a better illustration of how the process works.

Aubrey: 15:24

Yeah. So instead of telling them this is what's gonna happen, you're more like showing them hey, this is how it could be, and by helping them to kind of get that visual narrative, then they are more likely to have it play out that way in the future.

Gayle: 15:42

Yeah, exactly, exactly, and a lot of repetition too. So a lot of times when I'm working with somebody, I'll actually encourage them to even record the hypnosis session, because it's good to hear those suggestions over and over again. Ah, okay.

Aubrey: 15:57

So then they actually go back and they listen to it several times and almost like reprogram their subconscious.

Gayle: 16:04

Yeah, because, like I said, the subconscious it's a creature of habit and if we're going about our lives in a certain mind perspective then it's really hard to just shift that in one hypnosis session. And if something isn't working, that could be frustrating for people, but it doesn't mean that they weren't hypnotized. It just means that it does take a little bit of repetition Okay, A lot of it.

Aubrey: 16:32

Okay.

Gayle: 16:32

Yeah.

Aubrey: 16:34

I have a random curveball question for you, sure, how familiar are you with past life regression?

Gayle: 16:41

So past life regression is something that I am familiar with. It's not something that I'm currently doing in sessions with folks.

Aubrey: 16:48

I've heard that it can be a little risky.

Gayle: 16:51

Well, yeah, I mean, I think personally it's valid. You know there are people that do it and I respect that, but my focus is really on anxiety and certainly you know there's a belief that anxiety could stem from past lives, but it's not my area of expertise.

Aubrey: 17:10

Yeah, so you refer that to the people who are good at that.

Gayle: 17:14

Oh, for sure, For sure. I like to stick with anxiety and, you know, within the therapeutic context, I'm what I personally have a lot of experience and knowledge about.

Aubrey: 17:26

Awesome. How often do people usually see you? Like how long are they usually with you? Like what's your average, would you say?

Gayle: 17:35

Yeah, you're saying you know amount of time that I meet with a person or how long is the session.

Aubrey: 17:42

Well, both really. I'm more thinking in terms of, like the length of therapy, like how long do people normally stay in therapy?

Gayle: 17:48

Yeah, I would say anywhere from three months to Now. This is actually kind of a hard question to answer, aubrey, because this is actually my only my second full year in private practice. I previously worked at a mental health clinic and I can tell you it really depends at the clinic I was working at. People can be in therapy for years. Generally, in my experience I have clients that have been with me since the very beginning of my therapy practice, but some people maybe as much as three months.

Aubrey: 18:21

Okay.

Gayle: 18:22

And we also you know very much want to make sure we have a good therapeutic clip too. So if I'm not a good fit for somebody like my style isn't what they're looking for, then you know, I might refer out after one or two sessions.

Aubrey: 18:37

Okay, yeah, yeah, that's awesome. So tell me more about just like a client success where you are working on anxiety with them like an ideal situation.

Gayle: 18:53

Yeah, I love being able, like I said before, I don't mean to repeat myself, but I love being able to work with somebody who maybe they've tried you know they've tried therapy before, but they've come up short and they can't figure out why that is. So that could be that they're really into you know, like mindfulness or yoga, and they have those coping skills, but they're looking for something a little bit more like they're. They're looking to and oh, and they may also. They may also know where some of this, this stuff is coming from. So what I like to do is I like to be very collaborative and come up with some concrete Steps. So a success story to answer your question more specifically, I would say in very broad terms, a success story would be being able to come up with a concrete plan that works for somebody and they've seen success with it.

Gayle: 19:52

And then I always like to tell people it's all about practice. A lot of anxiety is from, you know, changes. You know change is very hard for people. New things are very hard in practicing. You know, practicing these skills. I love when people are telling me that things are just becoming second nature for them. I think that's. It's so empowering.

Aubrey: 20:12

Yeah, so you're saying that that the ideal is like that somebody's coming to sessions, they're practicing the skills that you guys have talked about in sessions and then they're noticing the changes from those skills and coming back and and continuing to practice those skills. It may be troubleshooting with some new skills as they go.

Gayle: 20:36

Yeah, and it could be something as simple as, like just communicating with a boss or communicating with a partner in a different way. Yeah, make all the difference, which is so, so wonderful well, excuse me, I have a frog in my throat.

Aubrey: 20:53

Gail, we're getting close to the end of our time. How can our listeners learn more about you and and just find your information?

Gayle: 21:01

Yeah, go to my website, gail while lcswcom. I'm new to posting on Instagram, but I'm also. You can find me at Instagram at gail while therapy.

Aubrey: 21:12

Awesome. Yeah, and for those of you who are listening in today, you can find out more information about this show on biz radio dot US. Be sure to like and subscribe us there, and you can also find more information about me on my website art therapy and see calm. Thanks.

Gayle: 21:29

Thank you so much, aubrey. You're welcome, gail.