The Fabric of Therapy Personal & Professional Tales w/ Shannon Draper

Have you ever wondered what it's like to navigate the complex world of mental health from the bustling streets of Boston to the charm of the South? Shannon Draper takes us on a journey through the nuances of trauma therapy with her invigorating perspective and seasoned experience. As listeners, we're invited into a candid discussion that traverses her educational roots in trauma-focused studies, her embrace of EMDR, and how she infuses humor and sarcasm into the healing process. Her vibrant storytelling illuminates the contrast between mental health practices across diverse regions and reveals the burgeoning potential for progress within North Carolina's services.

Moving to the beat of family dynamics and the ever-evolving therapist-client relationship, Shannon provides a heartfelt look into the transition from residential treatment to the intimacy of private practice. Our conversation unwinds the threads of rapid connections made in group environments and the deliberate growth of bonds over time in one-on-one sessions. We also peel back the layers of our roles as therapists and parents, acknowledging how our paths enrich our empathy and professional insights. This episode promises not just to enlighten but to connect, as we recognize the shared humanity in our collective quest for mental wellness.

Website:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/shannon-draper-raleigh-nc/795667

This program is brought to you by:
Kindred Art Therapy
Visit https://www.arttherapync.com/ to schedule a free consultation.
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Alynee Davis, PLLC
Visit https://alynnedavis.com/ to connect.
Alynne is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Coach.

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Transcript

Aubrey: 1:01

Welcome to Kindred Conversations, the show where we shine a light on local mental health professionals, who are the unsung heroes of our community. Join us as we delve into their journeys, strategies and the art of healing minds. Together, we'll break down stigmas and celebrate resilience. Today we have with us Shannon Draper, who is a clinician here in North Carolina, in Raleigh, and it's funny because Shannon and I have a bunch of things in common she's a qualified supervisor, she worked in therapeutic boarding school for a long time and now she's been in practice, in private practice, for the last little while. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, shannon?

Shannon: 1:42

Yeah, thanks, aubrey. Yeah, so my name is Shannon Draper. I'm a licensed trauma therapist and I did my studying up in Boston and a lot of my clinical experience was up in Boston before I moved down to North Carolina about six years ago and during that time I worked a lot in residential settings. So I worked in a homeless teen living program, I worked in rehabilitation and incarceration for young men and then I moved on to therapeutic boarding school. So I really like working with folks that have a little bit of fiery attitudes.

Shannon: 2:31

Not unlike myself, I use a lot of humor and sarcasm in my work. I do think that therapy is such a sacred and vulnerable space, but that doesn't mean that we have to take ourselves too seriously and that we should be able to laugh, because crying all the time isn't necessarily the vibe I guess that we want all day, every day. So I try to do the same thing, and so I'm in private practice. I work with young adults however you want to define that typically over 18 to about 40. And again, my specialization is trauma. So I do a lot of work with EMDR. I do a lot of work with boundaries and value setting and really taking what feels kind of like a black and white this or that, into the world of gray and finding ways in which it aligns with who we are, who we want to be, who we're working towards becoming.

Aubrey: 3:41

Awesome, Wow, Okay, there's a lot to dive into there. First of all, selfishly, I really want to know more, because you said that you studied in Boston and for I study. We studied at the same place, at Lesley University. I'm just curious was your department very similar to where I was at? Because in the expressive therapies department they're wild. It was a very, very liberal school, to say the least. I mean, I showed up the first day on the courtyard and everyone had drums and it was really fun to do something like out of a scene from like San Francisco in 1970.

Shannon: 4:26

It did feel that way. I think that you guys, the expressive arts folks, really led the way on that. You know when my classes would overlap with expressive arts people, you know there was a lot of movement and a lot of freedom, which I really appreciated. I took a kind of a sensory specific course, so they were like body socks and collage making. That was really neat, leslie. Yes, really encouraged and celebrated folks to show up as themselves, which I really loved. The trauma department was a little bit less of the expressive department, but still very encouraging and very empowering of authenticity and freedom of expression. So it was one of the things that I really loved about them and I think it was one of the only universities really at that time that was offering a trauma specific specialization, with trauma specific internships and trauma specific classes, and so I knew the second that I walked into that open house that that was the place for me.

Aubrey: 5:39

Yeah, and I mean, I think Massachusetts is an incredible place to get your foundation in mental health, just because their systems they're so much more robust than they are down here in the south.

Shannon: 5:51

And so.

Aubrey: 5:51

I feel really privileged now and I imagine for you to coming into North Carolina, where our systems are less developed in terms of mental health treatment and services and all of that, to be able to kind of compare and know like that there's there's more to be had, like there's so much more that that we can as a, as a state that we can develop into.

Shannon: 6:16

I completely agree.

Shannon: 6:17

I think that we were very lucky to have so many resources at our fingertips in Boston, so much diversity and inclusivity and opportunity.

Shannon: 6:31

You know I it's funny because I never wanted to be a therapist until I realized how much versatility I would be able to have and how many folks and different opportunities I could use this licensure with, and that's really what sold me. And you know, you know, as far as the the ways that Boston itself was able to kind of progress. You know there are a lot of hospitals and a lot of universities in Boston and so I was very lucky to be able to to work with them, alongside them, affiliate myself with them. You know I worked in an integrated community health center and the work that they were doing as far as far as connecting with clients and keeping them engaged in services and making sure that there was able, there was the ability to kind of follow up with services. It was mind blowing. And now I'm having conversations with folks that you know work at local universities here of implementing that kind of procedure and I feel really excited that I have so much knowledge and experience to bring to those conversations.

Aubrey: 7:51

Yeah, that it's really cool. So you came to North Carolina around what time 2017.

Shannon: 8:02

Oh, it was the same year I came. Oh, my goodness.

Aubrey: 8:06

We, just, like, have been parallel journeying. You graduated a couple years before I did, though.

Shannon: 8:12

Yeah, yeah, but we just keep just missing each other. I guess yeah, until today.

Aubrey: 8:19

What an exciting chance to get to meet you and talk to you. So, since you've been in North Carolina since 2017, you said that you also worked in a therapeutic boarding school. That was a little bit older than the kids that I was working with in therapeutic boarding school. What do you feel like were some of your big takeaways from being in that environment?

Shannon: 8:41

You know I love, I love residential. Residential is a type of therapeutic work that Doesn't exist anywhere else because so often and I'm sure that Folks in private practice can understand, you know we get folks for an hour a week or an hour every other week, and in residential you get to see folks Therapeutically in the therapy room but then you also get to observe and interact and engage with them kind of in real time when they're having the struggles that they're bringing into the therapy room. It's a type of therapeutic work that Really can't be replicated anywhere else because we're not talking about it in hindsight, we're talking about it in real time. We can pause in real time, we can encourage and empower coping skills in real time and you get to see it from the point of therapists but also observer, which is really really powerful.

Aubrey: 9:46

Yeah, and then you almost Serve as like puppeteer a little bit and like helping to like for me I was because you work with. You worked with the kids directly, but then you also work with the staff that they're working with to make sure that they understand the theory behind why we're doing certain things with these kids, and they were also Streamlining that with the parents to make sure that everybody is on the same page. So it's a totally different Continuity of care because, like, your hand is like literally on every single part and then a lot of times too, you're also working with the, the educational consultants that are back in the community getting services for them back home, and you're sometimes working with their, their teachers and their therapists at home, and so there's just a lot of versatility, right right, absolutely it's again, it's.

Shannon: 10:47

You know, I I feel like residential is either something that really really fuels you and Ignites your passion, or it's something that you really want to stay away from because it is just its own. Neesh specifically.

Aubrey: 11:05

Yeah, and now you're.

Shannon: 11:07

I'll go ahead, sorry, oh, I'm sorry. I was just gonna say as a sidebar. I apologize, I am sick and I have a toddler that's homesick. So if you hear them In the background, that's what's going on. If you know, it's just an constant pivoting.

Aubrey: 11:25

It is that time of year, so sure, if somebody's listening to this in the middle of June, just so you know, we're recording at the end of January. Yes and Sorry, I lost my train of thought.

Aubrey: 11:41

No, no, I was thinking of so now that you're in private practice and I know for me the transition has been challenging just because of, like, the limitations of private practice. But what I'm curious about for you is, like how have you taken some of the skills and and the clinical work that you've developed Through? You know that work in in residential treatment centers, therapeutic boarding school I mean you've been in several right, so how?

Shannon: 12:13

do you?

Aubrey: 12:14

how does that translate into your clinical work now?

Shannon: 12:18

Yeah, that's a great question.

Shannon: 12:19

I think, first and foremost, I just really can appreciate and understand how important consultation is and how important it is to talk to Other and you know, hopefully right, because I, you have to get releases and but I think that I can really speak to how powerful that is to engage with other resources, to engage with other folks that are, you know, in my clients lives and to speak to why that's important and how that Enhances my perspective.

Shannon: 12:59

You know I miss, I miss those sassy teens so much. And I think residential really allowed for, and you know sometimes you can take it from a person to a person, sometimes you can take it for granted how quickly you can build rapport in residential, like it happens in days, as opposed to the slower pace of private practice, obviously because you're not seeing them as much. And again, you know when, when there's a crisis happening in residential, you are there on the ground with them, helping, you know, put coping skills in place, helping to get them to regulate their nervous system, kind of providing psycho education in the moment, so they understand what's going on. You're in the thick of it with them and that just you know that that establishes a rapport at such a quicker pace, and so I have to remind myself to kind of slow down in private practice and you mentioned psycho education.

Aubrey: 14:06

That's something that, for me, I feel really strongly competent in because of just how many people that I had involved in the case like I was describing earlier. You know, so I imagine that something similar for you, where it's like you're just when you're in that environment.

Shannon: 14:24

You just can't read enough about how you know attachment works in relationships and social skills and all of these things, because that's the bread and butter of what you're teaching to your clients and your families, you know absolutely, and so I also do some work as a parent coach with families that are currently either in transition to, or in transition from, a wilderness program or a therapeutic boarding school or a residential treatment center, and it's really given me a lot of great experience in helping parents now manage the emotions that are coming up with their child being in an out-of-home placement or considering an out-of-home placement, in a way that I wouldn't have been able to do, in a way that I wouldn't have been able to support these parents otherwise, if I had not worked at the therapeutic boarding school.

Aubrey: 15:23

Yeah, and what a scary transition for parents to be making with their kids. They're literally just like handing their kids over to strangers. You know they're professional strangers, but they're strangers and really literally taking the leap of faith, and so to be able to give them a lot of education and knowledge about why and how and all of that is just invaluable.

Shannon: 15:46

It really is and since since leaving the therapeutic boarding school, I myself have become a mother, so I understand that you know from a whole different perspective of how impossible I'm sure it feels to consider an out-of-home placement for your child.

Aubrey: 16:05

Yeah, for sure, that was actually something that I think set me apart in therapeutic boarding school was that I was one of the few therapists in that setting who had a kid. In fact, the place that we had been talking about before I was the only clinician on the team at the time. It was funny, because all the other clinicians had dogs and I had a kid, and so, yeah, there's just a certain amount of empathy and grace that you're able to understand when you're a clinician who also, you know, is trying to work through generational trauma with your own kids.

Shannon: 16:41

You know Absolutely, and you know I used to get that question often as the clinical director. You know parents would come to me and say, well, are you a parent? And you know you get really skilled answering that question because you know you know the answer that they want and I, you know I could say that no, I don't. I don't have children. But I can understand or I can empathize with. You know how difficult it must be and you know I had grace in answering that question and now I just feel so silly that I ever answered that question that way. Like it feels so different. I mean, my life has changed irreversibly and I completely understand the weight of that question now in such a different way.

Aubrey: 17:34

Yeah, the way that I described it to people after I had my son my son's my first child was you know, it's like when you're growing this child inside of you, it's like you're developing like another limb, you know. And then when they're born, it's like as though that limb was chopped off and now it's just like floating around somewhere in the world and it's vulnerable and you're not sure what's going to happen to it.

Shannon: 17:59

Oh well, I'm. You've just solidified the very big squeeze I'm going to give my little one after our conversation. It's, it's, yeah, it is how. I have a one and a half year old and I have a three year old.

Aubrey: 18:16

Oh, I have a one and a half year old.

Shannon: 18:18

Oh my goodness, we're just living the same life over here.

Aubrey: 18:23

Yeah, just on opposite sides of the state, right.

Shannon: 18:26

Yeah, I guess so.

Aubrey: 18:30

Oh, so what? What's the population that you're working with now? It sounds a bit eclectic.

Shannon: 18:36

Yeah, you know, I definitely have a person centered approach. You know folks come to me looking for trauma work. Obviously, as I mentioned, I do a lot of EMDR, but for me, you know my my specialty is in relational trauma and family of origin trauma and specifically emotionally immature parents and people. I work with folks, as I mentioned before. You know, boundary setting, values, identification.

Shannon: 19:08

I do a lot of script building and script supporting for folks who would really like to have different boundaries in their life. But everything that they learned about boundaries doesn't necessarily align with who they are and you know how can we make it feel more aligned with their values and give them the confidence to speak up for themselves and, to you know, build relationships that feel really empowering to them, supportive to them, while also not feeling like they're sacrificing themselves. So I, you know I've worked with a lot of people who identify as empaths or intuitive or highly sensitive folks that care really deeply. And because they care really deeply, you know I talked to them about. You know your sensitivity is your superpower. I think, for folks that care really deeply, a lot of times they were told that you know you're too sensitive or you're being too sensitive, as if it were an insult or a character flaw, and I really help empower folks to see that as a strength.

Aubrey: 20:19

Yeah, how powerful is that? And it's. It's really interesting. As you were talking about that, like I was like wow, I really aligned with the work that you're doing because I feel like I could do the same work. I took a different direction in my specialization, I said. I said you know what?

Aubrey: 20:37

I work with individuals with ADHD, because there were so many in the therapeutic boarding school where you know, ADHD and autism overlap so much that I feel highly competent in that area, but also doing a lot of empathy work and boundaries work and and also like talking in terms of like, no, like. These are your strengths, these are your superpowers, you know.

Shannon: 21:02

Yeah, yeah, I think I describe myself as kind of like the ultimate hype man, like I really love validating people while also challenging them to take accountability. You know, working with the teenagers, I think they're, you know, when it showed up, as you know, hostility, or that fire or that spice, it was really that they weren't being seen or heard or they didn't feel seen or heard, and there's just so much power in validation and active listening and then taking that and taking that power and making it align with who you are so that when it comes out, it comes out the way that it was intended. You know, I think that language is incredibly important. There's a difference between, you know, happy and joyful, and sad and depressed, and I think, for a lot of the folks that I work with, finding the right language really changes how they can show up in their relationships with others and themselves.

Aubrey: 22:13

Well, what a beautiful note to end on. How can people find more of you, Shannon?

Shannon: 22:19

Yeah, so I'm actually doing a rebrand of my website, so I will send that along because it's not quite live yet. I'm also on Instagram as that sarcastic therapist. I use humor in my work. I'm on psychology today and then you know I work with, I'm affiliated with, a lot of different folks. So you can see my work in Solutions, parenting Support. You can see my work in Healthy Boundaries for Kind People excuse me Fair Play Facilitator. So I have a lot of different ways that I'm able to reach folks.

Aubrey: 23:04

Awesome. Well, for those of you listening in, you can find more of this show on bizradious. Be sure to like and subscribe. Thanks for joining.