Therapeutic Pathways to Resilience and the Fight for School Counseling Services
Apr 09, 2024
Aubrey Baptista
Healing from childhood trauma isn't a journey you should walk alone; that's why we invited Malissa Truesdale-Crawford, a veteran in school counseling turned private practice therapist, to guide us through the labyrinth of adult therapy. Malissa unveils her approach to mending the lingering emotional scars of the past, sharing transformative techniques like journaling and heartfelt letters to one's child self—a process not just about coping, but about thriving in the face of anxieties that hold us back from emotional well-being.
What happens to the heart and mind of a child carries forward, sometimes silently, into their adult lives, affecting everything from personal relationships to professional success. This episode is not just about individual healing; it's a call to action as we delve into the pivotal role of school counselors in supporting our youth, particularly those in the crosshairs of financial cuts to educational support services. With Malissa's seasoned insights, we highlight the heroes in education fighting to keep support systems alive for vulnerable student populations, underscoring the urgency and importance of their work amidst daunting challenges. Join us for a heartfelt conversation that promises to enlighten and inspire, and for those keen on connecting further, we reveal how to stay engaged with our community and with Malissa's ongoing work.
Healing from childhood trauma isn't a journey you should walk alone; that's why we invited Malissa Truesdale-Crawford, a veteran in school counseling turned private practice therapist, to guide us through the labyrinth of adult therapy. Malissa unveils her approach to mending the lingering emotional scars of the past, sharing transformative techniques like journaling and heartfelt letters to one's child self—a process not just about coping, but about thriving in the face of anxieties that hold us back from emotional well-being.
What happens to the heart and mind of a child carries forward, sometimes silently, into their adult lives, affecting everything from personal relationships to professional success. This episode is not just about individual healing; it's a call to action as we delve into the pivotal role of school counselors in supporting our youth, particularly those in the crosshairs of financial cuts to educational support services. With Malissa's seasoned insights, we highlight the heroes in education fighting to keep support systems alive for vulnerable student populations, underscoring the urgency and importance of their work amidst daunting challenges. Join us for a heartfelt conversation that promises to enlighten and inspire, and for those keen on connecting further, we reveal how to stay engaged with our community and with Malissa's ongoing work.
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Aubrey:
Welcome to Kindred Conversations, the show where we shine a light on local mental health professionals, who are the unsung heroes of our community. Join us as we delve into their journeys, strategies and the art of healing minds. Together, we'll break down stigmas and celebrate resilience, and today we are welcoming Melissa Truesdale Crawford, who is a local North Carolina private practice clinician who is in private practice as well as a school counselor. Welcome, Melissa.
Malissa :
Hello.
Aubrey:
Hey, so tell us more about how you got into private practice and how long you've been doing it now.
Malissa :
I have been in private practice now for three years almost three years. I was previously a school counselor, term school therapist during COVID. It was just getting very difficult to try to manage all facets of the students that I work with, so I just decided that I would just focus on the mental health part of the child and that is how my journey in private practice began.
Aubrey:
So there's a big difference is what you're saying between, like a school guidance counselor, what you were doing, versus what you're doing now, which is more just focusing on helping the student with their mental health, so you're not focused on, like, their graduation track.
Malissa :
Absolutely. As a school counselor, you focus on three aspects of students, and that is the academic first, of course, and then you focus on the social, emotional part of the child and then the career or workplace elements of the child is how the state mandates you to work with children as a school counselor. So I just thought during COVID it was just a lot to focus on three parts and I decided that I wanted to just focus on one part and not. I don't just work with children, I work more with adults in my private practice.
Aubrey:
Okay, all right, so you, you made a couple of changes there, so you moved from working mostly with children in school counseling to when you went into private practice taking on adults. Yes, correct, okay, and what are some things that you notice that like are different? Well, obviously there's big differences, right, but, like, what are some things that you bring to the table that are different in the work that you're doing with the adults?
Malissa :
I don't know it's a difference per se in age, but a lot of time the adults that I am working with didn't heal that child part of who they were and still have a lot of that in them now. So that is one thing I focus big on making sure that my adults have healed that younger part of them.
Aubrey:
How? How can an adult go through that process of healing that younger part of themselves?
Malissa :
Well, we talk about where your, I guess where your illness or your trauma or your hurt or some emotions that first came up, that didn't feel so well where they came up, and usually that derives from the child part of the adult. So we kind of go back to kind of figure out where that happened and what we can do to make a new piece with that. Although you can't erase it, you can make a piece with it so that you can move forward in your adulthood.
Aubrey:
Can you think of an example of a time that you worked with someone around this, like what might have come up?
Malissa :
Obviously without sharing confidential details, but obviously without sharing confidential details, but, to be honest, like most of the clients that I work with because I work with clientele that experience anxiety and depression, and most of the time whenever, I'll just say I'll use one without using like a lot of information.
Malissa :
Sure, right now one of my clients struggle a lot with the fear of not being in control, being afraid of, let's just say, being in a car and being stuck in traffic.
Malissa :
So we kind of went back and delved into how she feels now and when that she felt first felt that type feeling and whenever we had this discussion, come to find out it was an incident that had happened with her when I think she was like five and we kind of I like to do a lot of body work, so the feeling that she was having now we did some things and talked about some things and she realized she had the same type of feeling.
Malissa :
Whenever she was caught in this incident, when she was about five and what we, as we talked and we conversated and kind of did some therapy tactics, she realized that nothing had ever come of that incident, like she had not made peace, nobody took her to therapy, nobody discussed that and it was kind of what I believe just kind of lying there in her body, and even as she growed, a lot of that was ignited. Different things were happening, you know, now currently, and it was that same feeling from the past. So we work to kind of like deal with that so that she'll know how to handle it now in the present, if you have, I guess.
Aubrey:
Yeah, so what kind of things? When you say like you worked to be able to deal with that, is that like, are there specific techniques that you use?
Malissa :
techniques that you use. Yes, one of the techniques we used is first trying to get her to kind of write it out, journal it out whether it be writing or voice journaling about when it first occurred, okay. And then, you know, she brought that to therapy and we kind of discussed that ways to help her feel different, feel better, make peace. And then I had her write like a letter to that little girl and when she wrote that she says that you know she received a lot of relief, wow.
Aubrey:
Yeah, okay, and you had said that this, this topic, was specifically around control. So for her at that point, that anxiety around feeling like she needed to be so controlling in the car that that was relieved.
Malissa :
Yes, because I think whenever the incident happened to her at five, like she didn't feel like she had any control, she kind of lost control with that during that particular time and it was giving her that same, you know, like body cues when she was in a car and she would be in traffic and she felt like she was stuck Because during this incident as a child at five, it was something that happened to her and she kind of felt stuck in that same instance. So we kind of talked about different techniques on how to move through that so that when she is in a car, you know, we talk about first of all trying to control your breathing and trying to stay in the present and not allow your mind to take you some other place and tell you that something you know bad may be going to happen. So we just did different breathing techniques and, you know, talked about like what's the worst thing that can happen to you when you're in traffic.
Aubrey:
Yeah.
Aubrey:
And almost like leaning into the worst to realize that more times than not leaning into the worst to realize that more times than not, that's not what's going to occur, and it sounds to me like part of this was, you know, the cognitive behavioral therapy and kind of talking to her about her thoughts and beliefs about the event. But part of this is also bringing in some regulation techniques and skills to help her to regulate her body. But a huge part of this is the therapeutic alliance and relationship where she's finally feeling comfortable and seen in this event that happened. That was a traumatic memory for her.
Malissa :
Absolutely yes, there was some CBT, did some mindfulness and it's funny that you bring that up. But that is one of the things I kind of pride my practice on whenever I am talking to clients, and that is truly building the therapeutic relationship A lot of people talk about the modalities that therapists use, but I am one that believes no matter what approach or modality you choose to use, you have to have a relationship and an alliance between the client and the therapist for any modality to work.
Aubrey:
Yeah, for sure, yeah, and I find that oftentimes there's something about the clients that seek us out that is almost like a reflection of us. For that reason, right, oh yeah, definitely, yeah, how does that show up for you with, like, what kind of clients are coming your way in your adult practice?
Malissa :
Actually anxiety. I seem to get a lot of clients that have had some kind of childhood issue or trauma that they did not deal with at that point in time and it's still kind of showing up in their adult life. Yeah, I do believe that they our clients are typically a reflection of who we were at one point in time, I guess before our healing process.
Aubrey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. So now you are in private practice and I know that one of the big debates has been, you know, do we do full-time private practice or do we stay in school?
Malissa :
For me, that is an ongoing discussion in my head. Um, because I really do. I've had a very successful part-time private practice and I think that I could actually grow it to full-time, but at the same time as a. Being a W-2 employee for someone else gives me a security that you don't have, or, for me, yet I don't have as a therapist. I know that I have sick days, I know that I'll get paid twice a month and I know what that amount will be. So that's one of my ongoing struggles whether to decide to go full-time or to do what I'm doing now, do my part time therapy practice and continue with my daytime job, some clients on the side that are in your private practice that are really fulfilling for you, also maintaining the security of working with the school system.
Aubrey:
Are you enjoying the kids still?
Malissa :
I am, but I will say that in school or education in itself is just very different now. School or education in itself is just very different now and I truly believe a lot of the issues I'm starting to see is a reflection of what's going on in the homes and without the parental or the guardian piece to helping the students, it's just it's been a lot more challenging in the last two years.
Aubrey:
So what do you? What are you thinking that that might be within the parents, parenting generation or the, the like? What trend are you seeing?
Malissa :
Sadly, I am seeing more of grandparents and great-grandparents, other family members, grandparents and great-grandparents, other family members, raising, rearing whichever one you choose children, and I don't know, it's just it seems to be a lot of more like adult issues that children are having to deal with now compared to, let's just say, seven years ago.
Aubrey:
Okay, what do you think the biggest difference has been over the last seven years?
Malissa :
Honestly, I think it is the parents, the parental role change, and it's not parents anymore that are, you know I'm not going to say not completely, but the one, the particular populations that I'm in relation with would be parents aren't in their children's lives like they were seven years ago, which I think is sad, but it's starting to really be a trend.
Aubrey:
Do you think that that has to do with parents not being involved because of like work, because of not prioritizing their children, because of addiction, like crime?
Malissa :
I think it's some of a little bit of everything. I do believe that I don't know exactly what happened over the last seven years, but parents are having, of course, we know parents are having to work more now because of the prices of everything, the inflation of rent, the inflation of buying grocery store just being able to live. So they are having to work more and that takes them away from their children more. We are seeing more in the system and influx of parents being in the prison system and that's causing children to have to be raised by, you know, grandparents, other family members, drugs of course, and that typically, you know, lends itself to the prison system. But that is what we've seen, more I've seen in the last seven or so years.
Aubrey:
So it sounds to me like this is the symptoms of an ailing society, right, Like there's so much pressure downward pressure that is coming to families, like to young people who are having young children and maybe not with enough support to be able to maintain the family unit in a traditional sense maintain the family unit in a traditional sense.
Malissa :
Yes, I would definitely say that we are seeing a, seeing the, I guess, community, yes, in an ailing position where it is causing parents not to be able to be there for their children and that, to me, puts the child in a totally different mental, emotional stress.
Aubrey:
So what has it been like going from the two different positions that you've been in, from like the school counselor to the therapist, like the role changed right, whereas before you were trying to help them get their academics in order. I wonder if almost that felt a little bit more like um, administrative and like check boxy versus like now it's. It's more like getting into the heart of things that are going on with the kids.
Malissa :
Yes, I will say that to some degree it was more administrative check the box. Let's have a discussion. Let's have a discussion about academics, which, for me, as a school counselor, I always tried to understand why they were not. You know, why don't you have good grades? Why are your grades looking the way that they looked? I have always tried to go to the other. You know, beyond what I saw in the grade book, to kind of just tap into what's going on. Is something going on at home? What are you being challenged with? But I wasn't able to do it to the degree that I am now, Whereas now you know, my primary goal is to get to that part. What's going on with you from an emotional stance that's causing your grades to look like they look? You know what is going on with you emotionally that's causing you to withdraw from your peers.
Aubrey:
And how do you feel like the schools are doing in terms of, like you said that the students, they really need that support, that emotional support that you're able to provide. Now how do you feel like the schools are doing in terms of that support, like, is there enough support?
Malissa :
I think that they tried to do better after COVID and there was funding there to support the kids, you know, through social emotional issues. But as of 2024, I think it's May, june a lot of the federal funding for all these additional positions. The funds are now drying up, so the schools will be tacked with how to meet the need three areas of the student funds. We were able to put in positions that will now not be in place or not, as many of those positions will be in place in the next school year. So it's going to be interesting to see how that pans out.
Aubrey:
Yeah, it's certainly concerning considering the factors that we had just talked about with respect to, like the, just all of the social pressures that are happening because, um, it doesn't seem like there's much relief coming in terms of like a um, like a large scale. How do we fix this from a bigger perspective? Right, we're just treating the symptoms.
Malissa :
Correct? Yes, and I think we were. We were finally starting to get this school year into, you know, trying to figure out where these positions fit in, how you can support the child. They call it a lot of wraparound services, which they were still, you know, working on trying to bring more services into the school setting, services into the school setting, but I just I see that decreasing after the cuts that will be coming in the 24-25 school year.
Aubrey:
How do you see this affecting vulnerable populations? Like, if you could name any, you mean the cuts, yeah, just all of it. Like is it? Is it disproportionately affecting any populations in that, you see?
Malissa :
Yes, I think it is, of course, always. For the most part it affects the less fortunate, the Title I schools, schools, I guess, poverty. As always, it affects those kids more because they were able to get this extra cushion and with them, with the funding drawing up, now you have that cushion, another cushion snatched out from under you.
Aubrey:
Yeah, so the supports and programs that you know might have been able to help are now like in jeopardy and maybe snatching out from underneath of the people who need it most.
Malissa :
Yes.
Aubrey:
That's horrible.
Malissa :
Yes, it is yeah.
Aubrey:
Yeah, I imagine that that's really hard to witness from your perspective witness from your perspective.
Malissa :
Yes, it is. It's been quite challenging trying to figure out. You know how you help this particular population and you start to get some things in place and then, as you get them to, as you get them to a place a little bit more comfortable, safe, maybe a safety net. Now, when you come back in the next school year, it's possible it won't be there or not as much of it will be there.
Aubrey:
Yeah Well, I know that this is not a simple, there's not a simple solution to this problem, and I just want to give you a lot of credit for sticking with it, in spite of it being really a difficult things to be on the front lines to see.
Malissa :
Thank you.
Aubrey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, all right. Well, thank you again for joining us today and sharing more about your journey and your private practice and kind of having your foot in these different worlds. Will you share more? How can people reach out to you? How can they learn more about you?
Malissa :
Share more. How can people reach out to you? How can they learn more about you? You can find me on Psychology Today and also I think I have a TikTok Once you go on my Psychology Today.
Aubrey:
All right. Well, thanks again, and this was great having you on here, melissa. And for those of you who are listening in for more information about this show, you can find it in the show notes and you can look us up on bizradious and be sure to like and subscribe for this channel. Thanks again, melissa.